The company that May works for had a large Christmas event that included: Chinese round table dining, performances and plenty of alcohol accompanied by half-hearted reminders not to drink and drive. Employees were encouraged to bring their family members and, while I’m not her husband, I guess I’m close enough to tag along with May.

At the entrance was this large background for everyone to play runway model. Behind it was a metric eff-load of tables for all the employees. I hadn’t, until today, realized the full size of this company!


These sorts of feasts almost always have performances and girls, and this one was no exception. While the performances were generally mediocre (there were a few gems), and the girls resemble famine refugees, people will watch and cheer for a midget skull-fucking a chicken if it’s done on a well-lit stage and the chicken is wearing a mini-skirt.  20161210_194744.jpg

The food was pretty good and I found it FAR better than most Chinese food I’ve had at similar events. It seems the company recognized that there would be lots of SE Asians in attendance and the need to tone down the weirdness of the food. Still, as if giving a subtle nod to A Christmas Story, they served this:

It’s smiling at me!

A huge, stewed fish was also served on a large, shallow platter, and placed over a Sterno-like stove, in typical Chinese style. Why no picture, you ask? Because, in one heroic maneuver, I transferred said fish from the platter to the table cloth. Yes, in trying to scrape a succulent chunk of Omega-3’s off the bones, I tipped the platter off the Sterno stove and onto the table. Head hanging in shame, I’d assumed my clumsiness would be taken as drunkenness and I’d get cut off. Instead, the table laughed and raised their glasses for a toast to my antics. Damn it, I love Filipinos!20161210_203941.jpg

After the company sponsored event started winding down, one of the Taiwanese managers offered to take everyone to coffee. I certainly was in no state to drive, so why not? The coffee shop was at the top of Dong Hai hill and overlooked the city. Very romantic and shit if you’re into that. The party-after-the-party was pretty unremarkable and quickly devolved into a smartphone circle. We stayed just long enough to be polite, then headed out.

After considering the: copious amounts of red wine and Taiwan beer, surprisingly good Chinese food and an excuse to get dressed up, I’d call this night a win. Merry Christmas!