Maybe you’re broke as Chinese merchandise. Maybe you have to cut back on food expenditure to save money for your next great adventure. Maybe you are just so cheap that every rabbi within a 100 km radius is humbled by your very name. Well, my stingy friend, I have a meal that you will appreciate. Not only will it spare your wallet but it’s: nutritious, convenient, can be eaten in many flavors and can be further improved for next to nothing. I speak, of course, of instant oatmeal.

For about 5-10 NT per one-cup serving you can be chowing down on a super food that clocks in at: 340 calories, 9 grams of fiber, 12 grams of protein and 40% of your daily recommended intake of calcium. That equals: an indestructible skeletal structure, lean muscle mass and tyrannosaur sized dumps. Popeye can take his pussy spinach and go sit in the Corner of Shame.

You can hardly beat instant oatmeal for convenience; just add water. The only food that can match oatmeal for convenience is instant noodles, but with virtually no fiber or protein, and an ingredients list that reads like a chemistry final, I wouldn’t recommend relying too heavily on instant noodles for sustenance.

“But isn’t oatmeal bland”, you ask? If you aren’t willing to let your taste buds take one for the ream then maybe you don’t DESERVE Rocky-style Asian adventures! But there is hope for you anyways. Forget what you know about acceptable flavors of oatmeal. Oatmeal can and should be eaten with any flavor. Aside from the store-bought flavor packs, I enjoy oatmeal with: brown sugar, honey, peanut butter, chicken bouillon, or even mixed with a can of tuna. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!

Oatmeal is great on it’s own but there are some cheap additions that can make it better. Adding two eggs upgrades it from a snack to a proper meal. If you are just adding hot water from 7-11 that can’t be counted on to cook the eggs, you can add: olive oil, protein powder, powdered milk, nuts or fruit.

To my knowledge, there is nothing that can march oatmeal for: nutrition, convenience, versatility and value. If you need to stretch your cash without impoverishing your body, then make this super food a regular part of your diet.