The Taiwanese are some of the best computer programmers and architects in the world. They really seem to drive home the stereotype of the brainy Asian. However, where they excel in science and numbers, they come up short in common sense. There is no shortage of fools ready to inflict their stupidity on you and living here is full of those face-palm moments where one can’t help but wonder “how is it possible that YOU were the fastest, strongest sperm?”

I went to a nearby 7-11 to ask if they could scan some documents for me. Before you laugh at me, 7-11 does damn near EVERYTHING in  Taiwan including printing and copying. Turns out that scanning documents is the one thing they DON’T do. Finding this to be the case, I asked the clerk, a cute 20-something-year-old, if there are any printing shops around where I can have this done. Turns out, being young and cute is all that she really has going for her.


Me: “Is there a printing shop around her where I can scan these?”

7-11 Ditz: “The printing shop isn’t open yet.”

Me: (clears throat) “is there a printing shop around here where I can scan these?”

7-11 Ditz: “yes.”

Me: (waits a few beats for her to expand on this response but none is forthcoming) “Could you please tell me where?”

7-11 Ditz:”Ummm… I think…. Ummm… (turns to coworker) “Where is the printing shop?”

7-11 Ditz #2: “Ummm… I don’t know”

7-11 Ditz: “There is one that way.”

Me: (sure. Eventually.) “How far that way? What is it close to?”

7-11 Ditz: “Ummm… I don’t know.”

Me: “So you don’t actually know if there is or is not a printing shop that way?”

7-11 Ditz:”Not really.”

Me: “And you don’t know if there is a printing shop nearby either, do you?”

7-11 Ditz: “Ummm…”

Me: “Never mind. I’ll find it myself. Thanks for your help.”