Everyone’s entitled to occasional bouts of immaturity. My behavior, however, might be better described as constant immaturity with occasional bouts of adulting (not to be confused with adultery which is arguably both irresponsible and immature).
Today, I exit the bathroom butt naked in the middle of my shower to search for soap. At this point i’m out of body wash and am left with only overpriced dog shampoo. I open a drawer to find some soap and turn up a bottle of what is conspicuously girls shampoo. This is a well timed occasion for May, who is at my place today, to take a rare glance up from her phone and demand to know why I have womans shampoo in my home; shampoo that clearly isn’t hers.
“This is Mika’s. We broke up 9 months ago and she didnt take all her stuff with her. Looks expensive. You want to use it?” Of course, having two X chromosomes and an attitude, May puts on her pouty face and refuses. “Well, if you wont wash your hair with it, i guess ill just wash my balls with it” which I proceed to do. On a side note: my balls have never smelled better!
Once out of the shower and tell her “You know? These towels are at least 9 months old. Mika has used these too. What are you going to dry yourself with?”
“I don’t care!”
“And she has touched the dogs as well. Can’t play with them anymore, I guess.”
“I dont care!”
“Heck, my ex wife has slept on these bed sheets your sitting on. I took them when i left.”
“Lets not even get STARTED on who has sucked this dick right here!”
“Ahhh! (long string of Tagalog curses)” and May exits stage left in a melodramatic rage. (Don’t worry. By “stage left” I mean into the bathroom to take a shower herself.)
I’d like to say i learned something profound from this event but all i have to say about it is: totally worth it!